Book Review: Mindset, The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck

This is another book review about one of my most favorite published works recently – the phenomenal book Mindset, The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. I love this so much I bought 100 books to give away to people – to teachers at my kid’s school, friends and podcast audience. My Mom got this book a couple of weeks ago and said she wished she had this 20 years ago.

Below are some of the highlights – there are lots of good chapters here, from teaching to parenting to being an entrepreneur and I am going to discuss each chapter briefly section by section. Carol talked about the two mindsets:

This is phenomenal in figuring out what kind of mindset you need to have in all aspects of your life.

A fixed mindset comes from the belief that your qualities are carved in stone – who you are is who you are, period. Characteristics such as intelligence, personality, and creativity are fixed traits, rather than something that can be developed.

People who have a fixed mindset think their intelligence is, well, fixed, and they care the most about looking smart. They avoid challenges (because they might lead to failure), give up easily (because setbacks might hurt their self-image), and see hard work and effort as a waste, because they think they’re either talented enough to do something or they’re not.

A growth mindset comes from the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through effort. Yes, people differ greatly – in aptitude, talents, interests, or temperaments – but everyone can change and grow through application and experience.

Folks that have a growth mindset see their intelligence as malleable – they see their mind as something that can be developed, and they have an intense desire to learn. They embrace challenges, persist against setbacks, and see hard work as a chance to get better at something.

Human skills can be cultivated through human effort. If you are not failing, you’re not going to succeed.

Most of us think that our intelligence is something we were born with – but it can be cultivated.

People’s ideas grow out of their own mindset – people who are open to growth are welcoming of challenge and motivations.

Self-insight – people who know themselves more and pretty much have self-awareness, willing to put effort to improve and grow.

The other thing exceptional people have is the talent of converting personal or life setbacks into future successes.

Effort is what makes you smart or talented.

Low effort is the biggest risk in the growth mindset – as long as you learn something, it was a good experiment.

It is very important how you challenge your kids, how to reward them.

The growth mindset doesn’t mean that everything that needs to be changed has to be changed. We have to accept some of our imperfections.

You Get What You Think About

I am sharing with you the things I learned from Abraham Hick and a lot more of his different thinking. If you are thinking about what you DO NOT HAVE, you are getting that.

Let us focus more on positive thoughts and what WE WANT.

Anything that’s negative, I catch the thought for a moment and reverse it to positivity.

In business, if you think about the negative stuff, you’re going to NOT get the results you want to achieve.

Personally, I was sitting on a flight back home from Cancun and had this epiphany of making it a habit – focusing on the things that are positive and aligned with what I want.

Anytime I catch myself with thoughts that I don’t need or want to have, I ask myself, “What’s the opposite of that?” Then I flip things around.

TIP: If you hold a thought for 15-20 seconds, it may turn into something positive or change for the better.

Do not spend time with things that are out of your control and do not intend to have or want.

Abraham Hicks: You don’t have to talk about these negative things at all.

Get u and do something positive, listen to a song that pumps you up, do things that inspire you.

If you can’t take the scenario right now and turn it into a positive thing, think back to the situation where you were happy or successful and re-think the steps on how you came into it.

Consider failures as positive learning experiences.

A lof of successful people have failed or “experimented”

Who to emulate?

I must admit reading is addictive! I thank James Altucher and Tai Lopez for talking about how much they read. I heard them talking about reading on their podcasts and was intrigued by how much they learned from reading. As a person who likes to share and help others reading is fuel for my fire. And copying them could lead to their success. So I challenged myself, friends and followers to also read a book or more a week. After all other successful people also read a lot every day including Warren Buffett and Bill Gates. But then I read more and learned more about Gary and his methods of madness .

So emulating Tai and James seems like a logical thing to do to find success. But maybe you don’t like to read but you feel like you should because other successful people do. Here is something to ponder. James Altucher and Tai Lopez read a lot and are both considered successful by many people. Contrast this with the habits of Gary Vaynerchuk who has read less books in his lifetime than Tai and James read in their average week.

So you can’t emulate Tai and Gary or can you? And another contrast appears when you compare Chalene Johnson to Gary Vee. you will notice she doesn’t want people to be all about the hustle but rather to have a great work and life balance and she likes to take off for a month or two at a time. I did hear Gary mention he had a good week or two vacation. I’m wondering if he will start to enjoy less of the grind as his kid grows up a bit. Maybe he will look into Chalene’s methods in the years to come.

Gary doesn’t read so what does he attribute his success to? Well he hustles aka works a lot, works efficiently and knows where to put the effort which he calls “Clouds and Dirt”. But how does he learn and keep a pulse on what works in the advertising world and what startups he should invest in? He says he watches people to see what they are doing, he watches which mobile apps are in the top 150, he reads websites that collate stories. Compare this to James Altucher who tries not to know what is going on by avoiding the news and media and suggests to only read things that have passed the test of time. And James used to be a regular on the cable networks as a guest so he advises to avoid watching the news since he has seen how it is curated. Yet James also invests in startups. If you are trying to replicate success by taking the action of successful people the action you copy will be very different depending on who you emulate. So who or what should you emulate?

So what do you do? Should you emulate all their actions to cover all the bases? Reading lots of newspapers and a book a day like Tai? Maybe avoid books like Gary Vee? Oh wait you can’t do both of those or can you. How are they both so successful with different approaches? I’d like you to consider that each of them just like each of us should do things we enjoy. They find success is doing what they enjoy. I think Gary really enjoys watching people in person and online to learn so much so he said he thought a dad got the wrong impression when he was watching the guys daughter to see what she was doing on her cell phone. He really wants to know which apps and sites people are using. James Altucher says he still knows what is going on in the world because people will tell you about the important things. I can attest to that! I’m betting James learns a good deal from his weekly podcast where he interviews people who surely bring up some of the day to day topics along with the topics for the episode. Oh he interviewed Gary V which I thought was great and now has me putting the Crush It book on my list to read.

Back to who you should emulate. Some of their actions will vibrate with you in a positive way while others feel like a chore. Trying different things that intrigue sounds great. We all will create our own mix of things we do that lead us to success.After all we can’t emulate all of someone else’s actions, doubtful they even know all the things that bring them success.And the chances of us continuing to emulate actions for months and years is tied to how much we enjoy them. Especially if these are things you are doing on the side versus a job. Try many things and see which ones feel the best and resonate with you. So commonly referred to as following your passions or better yet following your bliss.

Creating Content
Lots of people like to learn from podcasts or audiobooks yet I’ve never heard James, Tai or Gary say they listen to a podcast a day. Yet they all produce a podcast a week and Tai put out 4 podcasts on April 13th and probably more snap chats and live broadcasts than that. I know I average listening to more than a podcast a day because I have the time to and I enjoy learning from audio. Now what kind of fame can I get by saying I listen to 3 podcasts a day probably not much since it is rather common. I’d be willing to bet Gary and Tai produce more podcast and audio content than they consume. I reckon they enjoy spending their time creating content more than taking in others content. And I believe their success which many people want to emulate comes from their creating content which is what they enjoy doing in their daily life. I heard Tai say “Social Media should enhance your life”. I hear that and apply it with a much broader brush saying what you do each day should enhance your life. And I suggest what you do the most each day should surely enhance your life! I’m thankful that James Altucher said everyone should do a podcast of their own because right about that time I was told I should stop doing my “business / freedom” podcast and focus on a niche like “autocross”. Hearing James suggest podcasting helped me realize I should keep doing something I enjoy. James also said having a podcast gives you good opportunities to interview a lot of people! Plus it is good practice to interview people for you and yourself. Back to the creating content thought, these people only have a following as well as products to sell because they produce content from: articles, books, podcasts, videos, video programs, newsletters….

A little side note for those of you who listen to podcasts. I agree with Chalene Johnson’s suggestion to focus your listening to podcasts on the subject you are currently learning about or implementing. This has really helped me get momentum to take action on varying tasks from permaculture farming to Facebook advertising. I’ve found it irresistible after learning about all the benefits as well as how to implement a Facebook video ad for example. A random thought for those of you who listen to a lot of podcasts: maybe you can take notes from each of the good ones and put each of the tips in a post like this, blog, or video which will save people time and lead them to great resources. I listen to and recommend the podcasts of all four of these individuals (Chalene Johnson, Gary Vaynerchuk, James Altucher and Tai Lopez). I have contributed to each of them buy buying their books, online courses and attending their conferences and they have contibuted to me. They all give lots of great content for free which is another thing you can emulate if you are looking to follow in their footsteps. I want to thank Cole Hatter for putting together the Thrive event which is where I was introduced to Tai Lopez and Gary Vaynerchuk. I hope Cole gets all four of these speakers for his next Thrive event.

Have a great time finding you bliss! And share your thoughts with us (you will be creating content :).

Kinch Reindl


How to Live Stream Video Yourself

After presenting a speech about live streaming for a Toastmasters speech this week I got quite a few questions. That was to be expected in giving a five minute speech on a topic like Live Streaming.  So here are the answers

How to Live Stream Broadcast Video Yourself

What you need to live stream video

  1. Smart Phone
  2. Install App
    1. Facebook, YouTube, Meerkat, Periscope
    2. Account with above app (you create after installing)
  3. Good wifi or cell phone connection (app will alert you)

Take it to the next level with the following

  1. Good lighting
  2. Lavalier microphone wired or wireless.
  3. Tripod or camera mount  (or camera crew – Thanks Steve)

TIPS When it is time to broadcast put your phone in do not disturb mode (so phone calls don’t stop your streaming) and make sure it is fully charged or plugged in.

(If you are super cool you broadcast live on all of these at one time aka Tai Lopez see the tripod with multiple phones?)

Tai Lopez Camera Mount for Live Streaming
Tai Lopez Camera Mount for Live Streaming
Tai Lopez tripod with multiple camera mounts for live streaming
Tai Lopez tripod with multiple camera mounts for live streaming

So one of the questions is which platform should you be live streaming on? As of May 2016 Facebook has opened up live streaming to everyone. And YouTube also has live streaming available as well. They are the two gorillas in the room so I’d suggest live streaming on one of those platforms if you are just starting.

Another easy way to choose is where do you have a larger following?

Why would you want to live stream something?

Facebook will show your video live at the top of your friends/followers “news feed”. This means they are promoting you and whatever you are offering right now for free (FREE Marketing).  Many companies now have to pay to reach their followers (people who have liked or followed their page) And your video lives on after you are done recording so people will continue to watch it.  It is like a DVR is built into the Facebook ap.
Another reason to live stream is the instant feedback while you are broadcasting. You can ask your audience if they have questions concerning you topic. (Might help you come up with articles to write, and videos or products to make)  You can ask them where they are from etc.
You are also creating content and letting your audience connect with you.  Supposedly people want to look at me and you 😉

A really good reason marketing reason to live stream

With Facebook they keep a list of who has viewed your video so you could advertise something to them later.  Then they take this to the next level and will create a (look alike) audience which is much larger who you can advertise to.

**I highly suggest you advertise to visitors of your website as well as your Facebook/YouTube pages since they were interested in your content.  And Facebook and Google can create lookalike audiences from the visitors to your site**  (Ask me if you advertise but are missing out on these opportunities)

Did you know more videos on mobile devices are watched on Facebook than YouTube as of 2016? Facebook wants to promote video thus they highlight that you are live and that you have recently recorded a live stream video. The other apps are Periscope, Meerkat and maybe Blab.

Pro Tip: If you have been building a YouTube video channel also load your videos up to Facebook directly (remember they are competing with YouTube for views) and they are more likely to show your post to your friends/followers if the video is on Facebook rather than YouTube.

A quick recap of who should be live streaming video anyone who sells their services or has something to show or teach someone:

  • Speaker
  • Teacher
  • Horse Boarder
  • Cat Owner
  • Homesteader
  • Interesting Person
  • Concerned Person
  • (yes I’m trying to include everyone of you)

You can create a following in a niche market
( There are over 1 BILLION active Facebook users and YouTube viewers).  If you are interested in it so are others.
I typed in “under water basket weaving” and Facebook said  1000 people were talking about it.

How do you look and sound good? Microphones and Lights

Many people like Chalene Johnson sit in a chair while live streaming.  She recommends a halo light and a lavalier microphone.  She has a great podcast with lots of tips and thoughts for live streaming.  She takes the audio from her live broadcasts and uploads it for her podcast.

Here are two lavalier microphone choices on Amazon.

You could also use these with your smart phone to record solo podcasts. I’ve used my standard iPhone headset in the past for recording. If you can keep it from rubbing on your clothes it is adequate.  If you are going pro I can list about $1,000 or equipment for the best audio.

As for lighting I bought a light from home depot that is like the more expensive Halo lights on amazon. There are kits for studio lights on amazon for $50 or $52 umbrella light set and the more expensive halo light with remote $280. These lights eliminate shadows.

Tips for the content of your live stream/broadcast

As for tips think for the content of your live broadcast.  You can treat it like a short speech with a call to action to get engagement.
Tell them who you are, tell them what you are going to tell them and summarize.  Keep them short to start with and ask and answer some questions to get some feedback. And then monitor the views and comments on the video as time goes on. For example in the past day Facebook says 270 views and 6 comments.

When you end your broadcast you have the option to save the video to your smart phone.  Then you can upload it to the YouTube, Facebook, your website, Vimeo …

And a last tip for those of you who read down to here (even for those of you who skipped down here).  Ask viewers to share your video!

Tips from Tai Lopez Mastermind

Tai Lopez’s Mastermind Talk Recap
This is a recap of the Mastermind Talk with Tai Lopez I attended in California.
In addition to learning from the speakers a big benefit is to meet and hear from other entrepreneurs. Sometimes you realize really successful people are very much like you and thus you gain the confidence to achieve more.
It is great to be around people who in my eyes are more successful than I am. It was also fun to hear new ideas, give advice and get advice.

Jay Samit spoke to us – wikipedia info on Jay Samit

He asked us how many of you would hire a PR agency? I thought I wouldn’t until he explained why we should. You should if you want to partner with a company who has a PR agency and the tip is to higher the same PR agency as the other company you want to work with.

Justin Sener

Known as the T-shirt Cat Guy, who is successful at selling t-shirts online. He talked about how to create T-shirts and how to market them on facebook. I noted that they create 10 T-shirts, market each on facebook for very little ($5) and then increase the marketing for the ones that sell. Tip – women buy the most t-shirts.

Sites that can set up clothing business: THREADMEUP.COM and
Shopify plug in

Book recommendations from Cole Hatter who runs the Thrive Connect conference are:

    Persuasion Skills

by Rentu Basu (I’m almost done with this short book)
and Learn how to speak to people to be better in sales:

    Spin Selling

by Neil Rackham

    And a marketing recommendation (this is a much larger book)The Advertising Effect

by Adam Ferrier and Jennifer Fleming

A great podcast for learning about Facebook, Linked In and Google advertising:
The Art of Paid Traffic Podcast

always do sponsored post, never
advertise on the right side
Utilize Facebook Live and Snapchat

they are the main thing now

Tai Lopez thoughts

  • Social media should enhance your life
  • Challenge yourself – do it for practice

The Boron Letters a must ready for advertisers and copywriters

I learned about these direct mail copy writing letters on Rick Mulready’s podcast “The Art of Paid Traffic” and began reading them. They are good and have helped me come up with many an idea to implement for videos as well as advertising. They are a quick read but I’m only reading a few a day and often rereading them to fully absorb them.
I heard about these when reading these books which are also good:

I’ve skipped the first three which focus on being healthy more than tips for good copywriting.
These books are suggested reading in the Boron Letters:

Why hire a Virtual Assistant? How do I work with one?

Why hire a virtual assistant? 

Virtual Assistants have been in the business for over 5 years but their employment has reached a peak over the last 2-3 years. Working with a virtual assistant can be very flexible, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to work on the same time. Most VAs have background in podcast posting, you can show them an instructional video on how you want your podcast uploaded and they can do it for you right away.

You are saving a lot of your time, energy and money when you are working with a VA. Moreover, you can do the things you love (your passion, your hobbies) when more work are delegated to your trusted VA.

How to share email duties, files, podc

How to work with virtual assistants

  • Podcasts, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram?
  • The most common way in communicating tasks with the VAs is e-mailing – daily or regular emailing in of tasks for the VA to accomplish (with a time frame) is utilized by most VA-client teams.
  • For files, Dropbox is the most common file-sharing tool used. You create an account and share a folder (give access to the VA) where you both can upload files.
  • YouTube/Facebook/Instagram – most clients who use VAs would provide full access to their social media sites for management. (Facebook) clients usually have already created their own business pages before hiring a VA then access is given (Admin level) to the VA for social media management. (Instagram) Give the VAs your log in information so they can manage the page – Instagram is a mobile app so it requires one username and password for one account.

How to share applications – Remote desktop, Dropbox, FTP (Security?) Back-up?

  • This depends on what the clients would normally require but Dropbox is the most common.

How to manage to-do lists, tasks

  • There are lots of ways to manage tasks – the most common is through e-mails and updates on tasks, ASANA is also one of the best tools on the web for this. It is a project management web-based app for the client and the VA to monitor the tasks.

What tasks can a freelancer virtual assistant help with? (bullet list)

  • Social media management (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn etc)
  • Email management
  • Blog posting (WordPress, ActiveRain etc)
  • Phone support
  • Bookkeeping
  • Transcription
  • Online purchases
  • Admin work
  • Some VAs are capable of basic SEO 

Is there a need for a site to look at VA profiles? How do you get and review VAs?

  • There are sites which you can find a list of VAs and their resumes (skill sets and experience) – examples would, oDesk, VSF, Scriptlance, TaskRabbit or even Craigslist. But utilize these sites depending on your own requirements for a VA.

Yo  You can leave reviews about the VAs you hired on any of these sites when you   already reached a point where you worked long enough to assess them in terms of efficiency and competence.

Newsletters – autoresponders (how to for these)

  • Mailchimp is one of the best tools out there for weekly or monthly newsletters, you can use this for free if you don’t require extensive mass mailing.

How to track work for VAs?

The easiest, most common method is e-mailing. The VAs will email you on the tasks that have been done as well as the outstanding ones.

You and you VA can agree on a management app to track your progress in terms of tasks completed and those which are pending. ASANA is an awesome web-based app which you can use to track the progress. There’s no need for you to email each other back and forth as notes can be left on a certain project or task.

EVERNOTE also works the same way.

Book Review of Gary Vaynerchuck’s Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook

This is a Book Review of Gary Vaynerchuck’s Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook

If you want to or need to learn more about social media and how it applies to marketing and business this is a must read. I know a little about advertising and marketing online but this book took my knowledge to a new level. He gives you his insights as to how to use social media and how each plat form is different. The book includes actual examples of ads on the different platforms as well as how to use each platform. And he points out how we should all keep up with the latest and greatest.

With over 80 detailed case studies from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Pinterest – this book is a learning material for those who are marketing their businesses online, with social media being the best tool at this point in time.

Below are some of the best lines from the book.

Jab—the one conversation, one engagement at a time that slowly but authentically builds relationships between brands and customers—the  78
but because it embraced authenticity and “realness.” And maybe I needed to make sure that my clients and others who turned to me for advice were doing the same.  106
I’d spent the majority of my time and effort over the years emphasizing the importance of the long view, and teaching people how to communicate in such a way that would develop authentic and active customer relationships.  108
No matter who you are or what kind of company or organization you work for, your number-one job is to tell your story to the consumer wherever they are, and preferably at the moment they are deciding to make a purchase.  131
Consider this book a training camp to prepare you to storytell on today’s most important social media sites.  140
But the secret sauce remains the same: The incredible brand awareness and bottom-line profits achievable through social media marketing require hustle, heart, sincerity, constant engagement, long-term commitment, and most of all, artful and strategic storytelling. Don’t ever forget it, no matter what you learn here.*  150
Where’s your phone? In your back pocket? On the table in front of you? In your hands because you’re using it to read this book? It’s probably somewhere within easy reach, unless you’re one of those people who are constantly misplacing their phones and my question has you rummaging through the laundry basket again or checking under your car seat.  155
In fact, adding a social layer to any platform immediately increases its effectiveness.  191
every social media platform has its own language. Yet most of you haven’t bothered to learn it. Most big companies haven’t put in the financial resources, and most small businesses and celebrities aren’t putting in the time.  226   • Delete this highlight
Jabs are the lightweight pieces of content that benefit your customers by making them laugh, snicker, ponder, play a game, feel appreciated, or escape; right hooks are calls to action that benefit your businesses.  246

Book Review of Philip McKernan’s Rich On Paper Poor On Life by

Another fantastic book that I just had the amazing chance to read recently – a book called Rich On Paper Poor On Life by Philip McKernan. This is the link to the book on Amazon $12.95 kindle, $19.95 paperback.

Quote: We are accustomed to a life where we work endlessly to belong, to assimilate to what is normal, what society dictates us to be. This sort of pressure misaligns us to our true values, to the things the things we truly want against what we work for to achieve.

The real life stories in this book is such an inspiring reflection to make us question the way we are living – are we working towards achieving our goals through the things we are passionate about? Or are we merely existing to please the society that sets the standards on how we are supposed to be – having checklists of accomplishments for success. If you feel are doubtful about the way you’re living your life, feeling stuck, wondering if there is more, GRAB THIS BOOK!

I heard about Philip McKernan first on one of the Mastermind Podcast episodes. To listen to that, has the episode 28 in which he was featured.

Below are the key notes which are helpful in finding your authentic self.

Many (if not most) people keep their truth inside for fear of looking stupid or because they believe they have nothing to add. How many people have a hidden desire to write, sing, paint, get involved in politics, or start a business? How many of them don’t get involved because they don’t believe they’re good enough? I believe the majority of people feel this way. They won’t speak up or act up as long as they place a low value upon themselves. 136

Our Biggest Fear: The Truth 140

Finding one’s voice is a process that takes time. Life can beat us down. Many of us endure years of being told we shouldn’t believe in ourselves. 141

Fear of speaking in front of others is not our greatest common fear. Our greatest common fear is that we don’t believe that what we have to say matters. In this way, the fear of public speaking stems from a fear of not being loved. Let me repeat: when we say we’re scared of public speaking, what we’re really saying is that we are scared of making a mistake, of being judged. Deep down, we’re afraid of not being loved. 143

I admit there’ve been times I’ve done exactly that. But it wasn’t until I started speaking vulnerably that I felt fulfillment from speaking. 150

In spite of the fact that we fear we won’t be loved, speaking our truth is one of the most important things we can do to put ourselves on the path towards authentic love. 152

The voice I speak of, is our intuition. 157

Who Am I Really Am I really the person I see in the mirror whose face is wrinkled and worn? Or is there something I don’t see in this one-dimensional window? Am I really the work I do or the house I live in? Or is there something I have not yet met within myself? Am I really the husband I am told I am? Or the voice I hear echo back at me when I speak to others? Am I really the person others see when they look at me? Or are they seeing a person through a set of eyes they themselves do not know? What if there is someone within me that I have yet to meet who is better looking than I am, smarter than I believe I am, and more famous than I could ever be? Would you like to meet him? 158

“Success in manufactured in the mind while happiness is cultivated in the soul.” ~ Philip McKernan 170

Individuals were ignoring their own truths. Individuals had lost our own voices. In sum, we got greedy. We forgot what was important. We chose gadgets over happiness, fancy over fulfillment. 245

Looking back, I was one of the lucky ones. I managed to escape the worst of the financial carnage. What I didn’t escape was the loss of my peace of mind. In the pursuit of money and growth for growth’s sake, I did what most of my countrywomen and men did; I ignored passion and happiness in my own life and pursued wealth with the naive assumption that happiness followed achievement. (And take note of that sentence because the implication is that achievement is prerequisite of happiness is common—and dead wrong.) 264

Using Intuition To Find My Way Out 274

I can help others out of the cycle of being rich on paper but poor on life. 290

To be clear, I’m not against financial wealth. What I’m against is sacrificing peace of mind for wealth. If wealth is to be sought, it must be sought as a healthy byproduct of a life well-lived. Too many people pay nothing more than lip service to well-being in favour of wealth building. Instead of seeking happiness now, they believe in happiness when. 291

poor health is the price of eating unhealthy food, and poor relationships are the price of failing to love and cherish our spouses (and ourselves). Seeking riches at the expense of well-being exacts an immense cost to the spirit of every individual who tries it. You simply can’t put well-being on the back-burner and expect to be well. 295

However, their deepest and most heartfelt goals almost always include some combination of the following: Family (spending more time with kids or parents) Spirituality (feeling a greater connection) Contribution (giving back time or money) 304

That’s why my work focuses on relationships. More precisely, I help my clients focus on their relationships to the key elements of their lives. This strategy is based on the knowledge that every person’s personal path to well-being is through improved relationships, whether it be a relationship with one’s self, with others or with the work we do. 309

Unfortunately, I often hear about these core desires expressed along with a belief that they are connected to massive wealth. That’s because people think they need millions of dollars to achieve what they “really” want. 312

The head is where we think we want something. The heart is where we know we need something. 316

A very good number of my clients will explain to me how their job or business is their passion. It’s this experience that’s led me to believe passion is a misunderstood concept. 319

Note: Interesting I know my main profit center is not my passion and thus spend time ding thingsi want to be doing. Edit

I say this because the same people who tell me that their job or business is their passion will, in the next breath, tell me they’re going to quit their job or business the moment they make enough money so that they can do something else. 321

What many people don’t acknowledge is the disconnect. 323

To be clear, a passion is something you’d do for free if you had to, it’s something you’d like to do for the rest of your life, no matter what. Indeed, a passion might cost you money rather than make you money. But why do so many people want to quit their job or business if it’s their passion? The answer is simple: they’re not passionate about their job or business after all. In fact, most people don’t know what they’re passionate about. They can identify the things they really want (family time, contribution, experiences, spirituality), but not their passion. This leads people to try to turn their work into their passion. 324

I start to see a shift in my clients when they bring those things that they love to the forefront of their thoughts and actions. This is the process of becoming rich on life instead of just rich on paper. 330

Anyone who looks within will find that their heart longs for simplicity, passion, love and meaning. 340

They regret not practicing their art, spending time with their family or helping others more. 343

this book gets you to stop and ask better questions, then you will be better off than the many millions of people around the world who continue to think money might buy them freedom. 346

Anti-Social Media 347

The deeper truth of their lives is not found in what people say, it’s in what they don’t say. It’s those silent spaces I’m interested in. 352

The ugly truth of social media is that it magnifies the opportunities to compare ourselves against others, typically in a negative light. But comparing ourselves to others is not a phenomenon that started with social media. 355

hope you are half as happy as you pretend you are on Facebook every day.” 360

Each person at that workshop had a deeply-held belief that once their goal was realized, they’d be happy. Think about that for a moment: people believe they couldn’t be happy until a goal was realized. That concept foreshadows the harm in this way of thinking. If everything good lies in the future, what are we to do with the present? 390

This book is not about giving up on dreams and aspirations. It is all about taking responsibility to identify the real meaning behind the things we say we want. 394

I stood by and watched millions of my countrymen and countrywomen become rich on paper while ignoring the things that could make them truly happy. 404

I’m not suggesting they’ve “arrived.” It’s not possible to be “done” working on ourselves. We can only seek to improve from one day to the next. What really matters is that they had the courage to change, the courage to grow. 409

What did he do? He faced the truth. 419

I share this example of Padraig to illustrate how many people get stuck on this first level of self-growth by refusing to see the truth of their current situation. 424

Finding Your Voice Finding your own voice, never mind your own path, is hard work in a world shouting at you from all directions to perform and conform. The world wants you and me to step into line with the rest of society. 428

lives!) In our society, the line between who we are and what we do has been blurred, if not erased. Many people, if not most, define themselves by what they do professionally. What they do becomes who they are. 432

I believe that in the developed world the 80/20 rule can be applied to the three elements of people’s lives: Work, Self, and Others. 443

The real issue is fear. We are afraid of judgment. Indeed, we crave acceptance to an unhealthy point. We know there’s a spark deep inside—something the world hasn’t yet seen, but the fear of not fitting in is so strong we’d rather put up with the status quo than run the risk of being happy. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself where you’ve been settling. Are you doing the work you’d dreamed of as a child? Do your primary relationships resemble the relationships you want? Are you as healthy as you imagined? Are you as vital? Do you find satisfaction and joy in your friendships and family relationships? 467

I have chosen stories that demonstrate how this kind of change is the organic outcome of a natural process that begins when individuals commit to leading a more authentic life. 490

You want to be the person who listens to the whisper of your soul—and takes action on the transformative wisdom of its message. 508

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde 511


Doing Versus Being Happy 519

I don’t believe any human deserves to be happy, but most people think it’s a god-given right. This sense of entitlement dilutes the authentic drive for happiness. I find it fascinating that people who spend eight hours a day doing work they do not believe in, wonder why they don’t feel complete. Often I see people putting their mortgage ahead of meaning, and justifying it to themselves like only humans can do best. 520

I believe our work must be an extension of what we believe, not of who we think we are. 525

Taking Business to the Next Level “Many people spend more time, money, and energy trying to grow their net worth than they do on their self-worth.” ~ Philip McKernan UNAUTHENTIC EXTERNAL GOALS 534

The ugly truth is that many people chase goals that are not theirs. And what’s the point of chasing someone elses or society’s goals? 541

This guided conversation helped Emma understand she already had something greater than what next level offered. Her quest for more money now threatened her happiness, fulfillment, meaning, and peace of mind. 595

First, do not trade in a lifestyle you love for a lifestyle that you would love a lot less. Emma already had a dream lifestyle. She 605

“As humans we’re masters of two things; complicating our lives and justifying why we did it.” ~ Philip McKernan 615

when the owner does more of what they love. When you grow your business by out-sourcing the parts you love, you risk finding yourself tied to work you dislike, perhaps even detest. 622

What I really want you to think about is the immense power in asking the simple question, “Why?” 626

CHAPTER 2: Giving up Your Baby “The past has created the present and the present is creating the future.” ~ Philip McKernan 636

Sir Walter Scott, “Oh what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive—ourselves.” 646

That tendency to put others on a pedestal compromises our ability to be real. And that reduces our ability to be vulnerable, even though it’s essential to being authentic. I don’t know if that fear of vulnerability has an evolutionary explanation in the basic fight/flight response of human beings, but I do know the fear is real. In the personal growth arena, it’s the people who break through that barrier, the people who make the biggest changes in their lives allow themselves to be vulnerable. 652

when you believe another person or business can make you better by partnering or joining in with them, you risk undervaluing yourself. 687

Whenever you put someone else on a pedestal, regardless of how much height you give that podium, the end structure is lop-sided. It’s bizarre when you think about it. Why would you not be as good as someone else? It’s bizarre, but so widespread. 688

Note: Do you look at mentors and teachers as someone you can be like? Edit

Do you ever regard other people and assume you could never do what they do? 692

Note: Not really only if I think about playing some pro sport where I’m not as big as they are. And I could probably bulk up much more than I realize if I put the effort they did toward it. Edit

While I didn’t understand it at first, that act assumed I needed those people to succeed or further my career. 696

I was leading the group through a simple exercise where I asked the group to consider who in their life they had on a pedestal. 703

Real Passion for Business “When it comes to the work you do please don’t confuse excitement for passion. It could cost you your health, relationships, and your peace of mind.” ~ Philip McKernan 706

This tendency to confuse excitement with passion is common within the entrepreneurial community. 710

What you need to understand is that when it comes to work, many pretend, but few actually live their passion. That’s why it’s so refreshing to see someone who is truly passionate about his or her work. I find it often shows up with entrepreneurs who enjoy the core activity of their business. 737

“Excitement is a freeing break from the norm that’s described with words to try and capture its essence. Passion is a part of your soul, which ignites a fire in your belly, resulting in a spark in your eyes.” ~ Philip McKernan 740

Rather than admit my disability, I put on masks to disguise the problem—and my fear. Because I believed I was unteachable, I allowed them to think the same. 763

For Tara, as with others in my seminars and workshops, it all comes down to self-belief. If we hold negative false beliefs about our self-worth, we can’t help but self-sabotage our efforts to develop our true potential. 780

CHAPTER 3: Blind to His Talents 782

Over the years I’ve been a huge advocate for people to tell the world about their dreams or aspirations. It’s like letting a cat out of the bag and once the secret is released, there’s no chance of stuffing it back into the bag. 828

“Thinking big doesn’t help, you have to believe big.” ~ Philip McKernan 835

Putting the Passion to Sleep It never ceases to amaze me how millions of people can harbour powerful dreams and never look for ways to bring those dreams to fruition because they simply do not believe in themselves. It saddens me to see people believe in their god without question and yet walk the earth never believing in themselves. 849

I call it taking space. To put it into effect, you need to step away from all the tasks and busyness of life and spend time alone. Taking space is about your relationship with yourself, but it affects all areas of your life. Work and the passion (or lack of passion) you have for it is closely tied to your relationship with yourself, so improving your relationship with yourself will lead you to a better understanding and clarity around your work. 887

The only thing that’s for sure is that the only way to find out if we can make a living from our passion is to actually do it, do it consistently, and look for ways to integrate earning an income from our work. 963

CHAPTER 4: Authenticity Sells the Deal “Fear is the assassin of dreams.” ~ Philip McKernan 967

Whenever we bring a partner into our business, there’s a strong possibility we’ll have the following realizations: We find out the partner is not as great as we thought We find out we can do more than we thought 1029

Scared Of The Truth Inside each person resides a core that remains unchanged by the opinions and beliefs of others. Experience has shown me that we all know what’s inside. However, we’re often too scared to face that truth and be fully authentic with it. But, we must tap into this core to find our power in the world. The more logical, mind-driven of us may think this is airy-fairy, but I promise you, we each have an internal guidance system. 1042

Living In Your Head In my short e-book, Dead Man Walking, I discussed the difference between mindset and soulset. My experience has proven that our intellect is a powerful ability, but it can also be a crutch. 1053

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~ Albert Einstein 1058

Reconnecting to intuition is one of the most powerful things we can do to promote positive change in our lives. 1065

We start neglecting it the moment someone tells us we’re wrong as a child. 1071

Strong Emotional Blocks To Intuition Some of the emotions we experience act as powerful detractors of our intuition. For example, fear drives people into their heads and away from what they know is right in their soul. 1075

But honouring our own truth, following our intuition, and doing exactly what’s right for our personal journey isn’t clever. It’s courageous. Doing what we know is right in our core takes enormous courage. It means overcoming our fear and anger. It means deeply trusting ourselves. 1085

“I totally regret listening to my gut – Said no one ever.” ~ Oliver Manalese 1116

CHAPTER 5: From Money Magnate to Children’s Champion “If you’re facing the right direction, all you need to do is walk.” ~ Philip McKernan 1118

Following my own approach to authenticity, intuition and soulset, I asked Trina to question every aspect of her life, including the brand she was developing. This process took several months. In the early days, Trina was fully on board with her new brand and thought she was on the best business path for her. Over time, a different picture began to develop. 1142

quite right, its often easier to stay on the current course that you think logically is clear, as opposed to changing course based on a feeling that often has no clear logical direction. This is were the trust you have in yourself comes in. 1165

As humans we talk a lot about trusting others, while I believe the most important person to learn to trust, is you. 1167

The change in the confidence of these young people was a bigger reward than she could imagine. 1186

What do I really want? That’s one of the most powerful questions we can possibly ask ourselves. It’s also one few consultants ever ask since their main focus is to take what you bring them, and then multiply it by two, three, five, or ten. That’s fine, but at what cost? What is the trade off? What is the social invoice? 1202

I have a different perspective on goals. I believe a goal is usually just an attachment made official. When we set a goal, it’s as though we’re officially saying to the world, “Here’s my attachment, and I intend to do whatever it takes to achieve the object of my attachment.” 1217

To those who say they cannot make a living doing something they love, I have a one-word response: bullshit. “Once you become blinded by attachments you become deaf to your heart.” ~ Philip McKernan 1242

It’s simple. Love yourself and do what makes you happy, and you’ll be more likely to find someone attracted to that energy. 1269

In fact, once you accept how devastating attachments can be to living authentically and to having authentic business success, you’ll see how quickly decisions can be made—and business fulfillment achieved. I see it with my clients all the time. This is where you’ll see how releasing attachments opens our minds to see the truth of our existence. 1273

SELF Your Relationship To Who You Are “Success is manufactured in the mind, while happiness is cultivated in the soul.” ~ Philip McKernan The Original Relationship 1288

For the purpose of in-person mentoring, I often use the lenses of Work, Self, and Others to stimulate thought and deepen awareness. My belief is that it’s these three areas of life where we spend the bulk of our time (and effort). It’s also the areas where change can make the biggest impact. 1294

“It’s generally the things we don’t do that haunt us forever.” ~ Philip McKernan 1305

I agree that you can’t change other people. But if you set out to change yourself, and then invite others to come along, changing others is inevitable. People follow examples. 1329

The problem is that most people travel to get away from themselves, their lives and their work. Laura and other self-aware people travel to be with themselves. 1342

I believe that Ireland’s experience mirrors what happens when individuals make compromises about how they choose to self-identify. Never before has humanity more needed a place to call home, something to believe in, and something to feel part of. As many of the heroes and institutions we’ve historically held in high regard falter, people feel more isolated and insecure than ever. 1398

Adding children to the mix often presents another life-altering shift in self-identification. While children are a beautiful gift, and we learn so much from them, there’s no doubt that many parents (and mothers in particular) radically alter their self-identification once children enter the picture. This happens because your life is suddenly focused more on what you do as opposed to who you are. I’ve seen this in clients enough times to know this is a common issue. 1407

Facing problems that appear unrelated to a focus issue is often the best way to shine a light on the challenges we’ve already identified. Life can be complicated. That’s why a series of small revelations can create the lasting and sustainable change that tackling a major challenge cannot. 1448

The bottom line is that real change depends on intense, and sometimes painful, self-reflection

Three Steps a Day Challenge

I have been out attending conferences and just launched my new niche podcast site for Autocross so I wasn’t able to post much over the last week or so – but it’s a good thing that I got busy because I learned a lot from attending conferences and reading awesome books!

I just started reading Will It Fly by Pat Flynn and when I was in a conference, he was one of the guest speakers.

The book runs you through the things that you should do to help you organized get it done.

Chalene Johnson – she records podcasts via periscope and sends it to her team.

Three Tips – here are all the successful people do, these are what you need to do.

  1. Daily Brain Dump
  • get it out, Tai Lopez said the best time is at night so you feel refreshed the next day
  • I feel more relaxed when you do it before bedtime

2. Write down 2 or 3 ten-minute steps for the things I care for

  • How can you get it done?
  • If you take 20 minutes doing things – small steps toward your goal (my own 30-day challenge)
  • How do you create this challenge?
  • Before I get down of the car – I write what I need to do
  • How can you tie it to a habit?
  • If you have this list of small things, tick off some of them before mid-day – you’ll feel good about yourself.
  • If you are really tired, take a rest.

3. De-clutter

  • Clean something every day.
  • Daily actions is important.

Break down your process.

Help people accomplish things – what can I help a specific type of person?

I hope you will challenge yourself and learn where it leads you.


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